My Presentation Reaction for 12-2

Patrick had a very good introduction to his essay that grabbed my attention and made me want to listen on and learn more about what he had to say about Hitler. He made his opinion very clear as he used words like "inhumane", "twisted", and "atrocities" to describe Hitler and his actions. This completes the requirement to be argumentative. He successfully stated the other side as well and admitted that Hitler was gifted in his leadership, political, public speaking, and organizational skills. Patrick just needs to complete his thesis, but overall, I was rather impressed with his essay writing skills.

Reaction to my Presentation on 11-30

After I read my essay about the evidence of worldwide leadership achievements of Thomas S. Monson, I received some helpful advice from my professor and my classmates about how to improve it. Alex King offered a compliment that he liked my essay so far and that I had nice points as well as plenty of good examples which I very much appreciated. Professor Silverman said I need to write a proper thesis that will better introduce my stand on the topic in a concise statement. Carly said I could expand more about Monson's achievements outside of the church to support my claim that he has positively affected the world, not just members of the church. She also mentioned that I could have a better introduction instead of just rattling off statistics. Alyssa mentioned a few places where I should move paragraphs to earlier in the essay to help the flow of my essay. I found their criticisms to be valid and I plan on heeding each of them. I know I need more words and sources before my paper is ready to turn in. After my presentation, I felt overwhelmed about all the work I had ahead of me, but this essay counts as the final and I very much prefer an essay to a test.